When you visited our house after Christmas last year, you knew right away that something was different. “Where is Zak?” and “What is died?” you asked. I don’t remember what I said, but you seemed to accept my answers and we went off to play. When Pops and I visited your house this summer, you asked again. You remembered that in the past Pops would “sleep in the car” (our little motor-home) so Zak wouldn’t be afraid, and now Pops was sleeping in the house. This time, your mom answered your questions, and you seemed satisfied, because you didn’t ask again. What I suspect is that you will ask again and again as we visit back and forth because questions about sad things are never really answered.
Mommy told me that when you were two years old you didn’t like the book Go Dog, Go because on one page in the middle it looks like the dog might get hurt. (He doesn’t). And when I visited you at Halloween, Mommy was surprised that you and I read We’re going on a Bear Hunt because you didn’t like the picture of the big sad bear at the end of the story. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have picked the book, but I understand now why, even though you sat very still on my lap and laughed at the funny parts, we talked so much about the bear at the end. You, Sammy, are a person who cares about the feelings of others, and you are very aware of your own.
This is why I think you know that something very sad happened a few days ago; not that your parents told you about it, or let you watch it on TV, but because you notice little things they did and ask about them. Maybe you saw Mommy wipe away a tear as you were making Christmas cookies, or instead of just cuddling with you while watching the Steelers, Daddy shut the game off and took you for a run.
My guess is you asked a question that was hard for them to answer, but they did, because they love you and they want you to grow up to trust your feelings and to ask hard questions. Your parents know that sad is not bad or good, but a feeling that gets smaller when we tell someone about it. They also know that it is good, but hard, to be happy and sad at the same time.
Christmas time is a very happy time of year.When you say “Merry Christmas”, most people will say "Merry Christmas" back. But if they don't, it's okay. By saying "Merry Christmas" you reminded them that even if they don’t feel happy today, they will soon, because God loves them like Mommy and Daddy love you.
Love,
Marmee
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